Apparently Comcast is going to be rebranding itself as “Xfinity”. We are all of course to believe that this has absolutely nothing do with the general connotation of the word Comcast being something akin to “terrible service.”

What we can all really expect from this rebranding is nearly spelled out by Marc Brownstein:

“Verizon has FiOS. Comcast now has Xfinity. It’s rebundling it in a high-tech package. You are rebundling an improved product, an enhanced service,” said Marc Brownstein, president and chief executive officer of the Brownstein Group, a Philadelphia brand communication, public relations, and advertising firm.

When you read that sentence about “You are rebundling an improved product…” just imagine that you are the subject and what he is really saying is that “you will be paying more money for an ever so slightly enhanced service with a different name.”

They also have a clever and vacant holding page for a new website. Is it just me or does this look like the cover of a Jehovah’s Witnesses pamphlet? Seriously. All they need is a little Jesus on those clouds.

Dear Comcast: Good luck making people like you more once you’re called Xfinity. Here’s a tip, if your services still cost a fortune and barely work, and your customer service is atrocious on top of that, that new name will be just as dirty as the old one.