Let me get this part out of the way first: Dear EA Sports. For the love of god, please hire some fracking user interface designers. The user interface for Madden sucks, and seems to get worse every year. Quit spending all of your time making everything glossy and shiny. Just make it better. If you’re unsure of how to do this, WWDC might be a good place to start.

Moving on. My first impressions of the game went something like this:

• Loading, Waiting, Loading, Waiting
• Madden Test. Neat idea. What’s with the weird glassy field and see-through players?
• Apparently I am close to all-madden on offense, but am still at rookie level on defense. Interesting. The combined IQ puts me at below 500.
• Loading, Waiting, Loading, Waiting
• Start up franchise mode. No need to save, I just started.
• Start first game. Oh wait, I can practice for points. Umm, really confusing, I have no idea what I’m doing. OK, I completely buggered up whatever that was. Let’s start the goddamned game already.
• Loading, Waiting, Loading, Waiting
• Because of my offense in the madden test, playing offense now is completely impossible for me. I quickly throw one interception and punt twice. Despite my rookie-level defensive settings, the Jaguars quickly pass and rush their way down the field and score on me. This is not going very well.
• What’s with all of the ridiculous camera angles?
• Is it just me or is the game-pace faster?
• Sometime in the late first quarter or early second, I call a play from the play call screen. The sound continues, but the screen freezes at the play call. I hear my players run the play I called, the controller vibrates, announcers continue talking. I can actually continue picking plays an even call timeouts, but the screen is completely frozen. I have to restart the game.
• At this point, I realize that I had not saved anything yet and decide that maybe I would rather do something else.

That was Wednesday night. Thursday night went like this:

• Repeat all steps from Wednesday night

So basically, I’ve attempted to play exactly two franchise games. I have not even made it to halftime without the game freezing on me. WTF EA Sports. This is the sorriest excuse of a release game. It is unplayable. Even worse, a quick Google search shows that I’m not the only one:

Keep in mind here that this game is brand new and I played it exactly twice; both times it froze. My PS3 is only a couple of months old as well. The official EA Forum has a thread about the freezing issues. It’s currently 37 pages long.

I was really hoping that this game would look great on the PS3. I didn’t expect for it not to work at all. I really hope that that class action lawsuit succeeds and they sue the shit out of EA.

Here is my cute little guy, which I named Morsel.

The best part is when you get to go take the creature for a spin and tell it to do all sorts of preprogrammed actions. You can also take video of your creature in this screen.

Make sure to check this one out. I can’t wait until the game comes out in September.

The class-action lawsuit, launched by two gamers in Washington, DC, and California last week, alleges that EA is engaging in “blatantly anticompetitive conduct” by raising the price of its football game offerings after securing key licensing deals.

Hurray for gamers.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the issue, Electronic Arts is the maker of the very popular Madden Football game series. One of the big reasons for the recent success of the series is that since 2005, it is the only game that is licensed to use the real NFL teams and players in the games. Many gamers have been frustrated with this arrangement because they feel that this licensing deal provides EA with very little incentive to actually improve the game, because there are no real competitors. From the Wikipedia entry:

In 2005, the producers of the Madden games, EA Sports, signed an exclusive licensing deal through 2009 with the NFL and the NFLPA to give them the exclusive right to use the NFL’s teams, stadiums and players in a video game, something which has been widely criticized (this deal has since been extended through 2012). This exclusive license has put an end to competition in NFL video games and, some have suggested, this gives EA less incentive to maintain quality and a greater opportunity to increase prices.

I think that this lawsuit is a win-win for gamers. The Madden series is not bad, by any stretch. In fact, I just got Madden 2008 last Christmas and was blown away by how much fun it was. The point is that if you are a real NFL fan and want to play a game with the real teams and players, this is the only game to choose from. That’s a huge advantage for EA, and puts a lot of potential game makers out of the market. Lack of competition is always a loss for the consumer.

I don’t think there’s a gamer out there who loves football (and even loves the Madden series) who will argue that EA has stopped releasing anything more substantial than yearly roster updates in regards to the Madden series. That’s a shame.

The game will present students with “real issues and real problems,” O’Connor said, giving them the opportunity to “step into the shoes of a judge, a legislator, an executive – teach them how to think through and analyze problems, take action and voice opinions to their elected representatives.” As an example, she cited an early exercise centering on First Amendment rights, using cases like Tinker v. Des Moines and “Bong Hits 4 Jesus.”

In addition to The Escapist article, The New York Times also published the article “Sandra Day O’Connor’s Plan for Joystick Justice” in yesterday’s paper.

One quote that caught my eye in the article from The Escapist:

“Only one-third of Americans can name the three branches of government,” O’Connor said in a keynote address to the Games For Change conference, “but two-thirds can name a judge on American Idol.”

While I understand O’Connor’s point, that doesn’t really seem to be a fair comparison. Wouldn’t it make more sense to say that that x many people can name all three judges on American Idol? I’m sure that a lot more than one-third of Americans can name at least one branch of our government, while (possiblly) less than two-thirds of people can name all three judges on American Idol.

I, for the record, can name all three of both. OMG I’m so smaht¹.

1. Pronounce phonetically² for Boston accent effect.↩
2. There is a sad, sad irony in the fact that I just had a really hard time figuring out how to spell phonetic (and wasn’t even close). Thank goodness for Goolge again.↩

I’ve put together a quick list of qualities that I think a great game should have:

1. Innovation in it’s genre
2. Originality
3. Replay value
4. Just plain fun

Video games seem to be a dime a dozen these days, and honestly, most of them suck. I can count on one hand the number of games in recent years that were amazing. I’m talking about games that I would make me buy a system just to play. This whole idea struck me when I first started playing Katamari Damacy. It was without a doubt the absolute best game I’ve played in a long time. Everybody I know loves this game, including non-gamers. Hell, my Grandma thought it was great.

So what are the top ten games of all time? So far, I’ve only been able to think of four definites and two maybes that meet my standards. It’s probably no coincidence that all of these games have multiple sequels. Here they are, without further ado:

The Definites

Katamari Damacy

I already talked about this game a little bit. Quite simply, it is the most original game I’ve seen since probably the birth of video games. All you do is roll over things and get bigger. The concept is so simple (and weird), yet it’s so much fun. The game also presents endless amounts of oddities in the cities and towns, story line and sound effects. Every time I show this game to somebody whose never seen it before, it’s like rediscovering it all over again. The soundtrack is great also.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

This game puts it all together and wraps it up in a neat little package. Although this is actually the fourth installment in the GTA series (I think), it’s the first one that really brought everything together. The Scarface-style storyline is great as is the 70s-80s theme. The game is long, immersive and challenging, with tons of side games. I also love how well the radio stations tie into the theme of the game.

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater (1 or 2)

Tony Hawk completely revolutionized the genre of XTreme sports video games. Does anyone remember what those games were like before Tony Hawk? I do, regrettably. They were terrible.¹ Tony Hawk was truly the first of it’s kind, and it was amazing.

I have a tough time deciding whether it should be Tony Hawk 1 or Tony Hawk 2 on the list. The original was the innovative title, but the second one greatly improved on it by adding the ability to string tricks together using wheelies. You could also use this same argument to include Tony Hawk 3 since it introduced reverts, allowing you to basically string an infinite number of tricks together.

Tetris

I don’t really have much to say about this one, except come on, it’s Tetris.

The Maybes

Super Mario Kart

I just loved playing this game when I was a kid. It was a fun and goofy racing game to play with friends. Oh the joy that came from waiting until your best friend was just about to cross the finish line to win the race and then hitting them with a red shell.

Secret of Mana

I still love this game. Actually I own it, but not a Super Nintendo to play it on. This probably isn’t the first action RPG game released, but I do think it’s got to be one of the best.

What Else?

Okay, so Super Mario Kart and Secret of Mana probably shouldn’t even come close to making this list. They just happen to be two of my favorites. But what other games should? What about Super Mario Brothers? Isn’t that one of the first side-scrolling action games ever? Should we go back even further? Pong?

I still haven’t been able to pick a game from my personal favorite genre, RPGs. There should definitely be one on the list, but which one? There should probably also be a sports game (Madden?), one of those bloody shooting games, and maybe even an MMO (World of Warcraft?).

What else have I missed? I think there should be something about the Wii in the list. The Wii definitely qualifies as innovative, but is there a game for it that is truly amazing yet? I’m not so sure.

So, I guess I’m stuck here. I’ve picked four games so far. What do you think should round out the rest of the list?

1. Except for maybe Skitchin’. How often do you get to hang on the the back of a car while hitting a fellow competitor over the head with a crowbar?↩

Apparently Codemasters is working on a video game based on the 1987 camp classic Dirty Dancing. I find this incredibly hard to actually take seriously, but sure enough, it’s on the Codemasters website and slated for a Fall 2007 release.

• Dirty Dancing Video Game

I’m scared. Fortunately, Ben Kuchera from Opposable Thumbs has some great suggestions about what should be in the game.

• The Dirty Dancing game is on the way: here’s what I want to see

On a side note, I was double checking the release date of Dirty Dancing on Wikipedia and I found myself incredibly interested in the entire back-story of the movie. Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze actually couldn’t stand each other. It was 40° out when they did that water scene. An oh yeah, there’s the real story of the tickling scene:

Another “chemistry” scene that was improvised was the one where Grey was to stand in front of Swayze with her back to him, and put her arm up behind his head while he trailed his fingers down her arm. Though it was written as a serious and tender moment, Grey was exhausted, found the move ticklish, and could not stop giggling each time Swayze tried it, no matter how many takes that Ardolino asked for. Swayze was impatient to finish the scene, and found Grey’s behavior annoying. But as it turned out, the scene worked and was put into the film as-is, complete with Grey’s giggling and Swayze’s annoyed expression, and it became one of the most famous scenes in the film. It turned out, as choreographer Kenny Ortega put it, “as one of the most delicate and honest moments in the film.”

• Map of Online Communities

I just love this. There are so many great things tucked into little spaces on this map. I also love the title of the image:

I’m waiting for the day when, if you tell someone ‘I’m from the internet’, instead of laughing they just ask ‘oh, what part?’

1. Hopeful is spelled wrong
2. The opposite of ‘death’ should be ‘life’, not live

Noob as the opposite of pro? I don’t see a problem with that.

• Pro v.s. Noob

• Code Smaller

In case you can’t read that text, here’s a detail shot:

They want to know my birthday before I can even look at the site! You’ve got to be kidding me. I guess I’ll never know what the actual site looks like.

• God of War 2 website

Via Kotaku.

I’ve often played games I thought weren’t that attractive, but this game was downright ugly. It’s like ugly’s uglier older sister, Uglita. Except she was horribly burned in an accident when volatile Nasty-sauce from the Beat-Down corporation spilled all over her face.

The game must be really, really bad to make a reviewer that upset.

• Game Review: Far Cry: Vengeance (Wii)

Canada

• xkcd: Canada

Via Surfin’ Safari: The Safari Team’s Favorite Websites

• http://www.limbogame.org/

Via Daring Fireball.

• A Safe-For-Work Katamari Pole Photo

Via Kotaku.

• Grand Theft Auto: All Coked Up – Kotaku

Via Kotaku.

• Casual gaming is a hardcore pursuit

Via Joystiq.

• Games for the Web

Sorry guys, it already sold. You can check out the auction page here.

This is a profile view of the Playstation 3, otherwise known as the ugliest console of the last twenty years. Jeez, Sony… you could kill a frickin’ wharf rat with this thing. We’ve seen George…

Via Kotaku.

Konami announced a new live television show called Dance Revolution, based on Dance Dance Revolution. Details are scant, but presumably viewers will get their groove on this fall.

Via Kotaku.

• Dungeon Man 3

If you’re not familiar with the game, it is apparently a very popular RPG series in Japan. Of course, we here in the United States, have not seen any of the titles since Dragon Warrior (the fist one) on none other than the NES.

Now, I have a bit of a soft spot for the original Dragon Warrior because of how I came across it. When I was little (somewhere between 6-8), my friend Sean had this game. We played it all the time. So, when my birthday came around, this game was all that I wanted. I vividly remember combing through the game section with my Mom in the local Toysrus looking for the game. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a big seller like Super Mario 2 or whatever and the store didn’t have it. I proceeded to throw a complete fit (appropriate for my age) about how I couldn’t get the game that I wanted. My Mom, frantically trying to placate me somehow (so that she didn’t have to grab my arm and drag me out of the store because I was being so obnoxious) found some other RPG game and pointed it out to me.

“Hey, what about this one? This one looks really cool.”

“No, I don’t want that one! I want Dragon Warrior.”

“Come on, try this one. Maybe it’s better.”

So, after much convincing on my mother’s part, I was persuaded into getting the ‘other’ RPG game. As it turns out, that game was Final Fantasy I. And it was better. So that’s the story of my sweet spot for Dragon Warrior.

In a recent phase of attempting to reclaim my lost childhood I bought an NES and Dragon Warrior. So, it’s probably been less than a year since I played the first of this dragon series through. Okay, back to Dragon Quest VIII.

One of the things that I like so much about this game, is that almost nothing has changed since the first one! Normally that’s a bad thing. But here, in the mind-numbing complex world of RPGs where every game tries to reinvent the wheel, it’s absolutely refreshing. The battle system is exactly the same. Just plain old vanilla turn-based fighting. No special attack rings, no super duper 5 person joint combo and no complex skill web. You fight, you get experience, levels are gained and higher attributes are awarded. Alright, so I am glossing over a few things, like the fact that each character can use three different weapons, skill points and abilities, but the point is, these things are simple.

This is a huge breath of fresh air for me. The last RPG I played before this one was Magna Carta. I lasted about 10 minutes. I have better things to do than play a game with an absurdly long learning curve that is going to clutter my brain with useless crap.

A lot of the enemies are just updated versions of the ones from the original Dragon Warrior. Now, there are certainly plenty of new baddies to be excited about, but the old ones are still there for comfort. For instance, who doesn’t get a warm fuzzy from seeing a little blue Slime or a Drackie. You can’t tell me you’re not excited when you run into a Metal Slime (insane experience if you can kill it) or a Gold Golem (gold, need I say more?).

The story is short and sweet. There’s enough substance to it to make it float, but at the same time, I’m not forced to live through a saga of epic proportions while I wait to get to the fighting part. This reminds me of Final Fantasy X. I had to sit through the equivalent of a feature length film before I got to play this fucking game. Now I know, the story in FFX was good (it was probably the only game that ever brought out any genuine emotion feeling for the characters I’ve ever played), but seriously, every time a cinematic sequence came on, I wanted to scream. At least they keep it short and simple in DQVIII.

And oh, by the way, the voice overs are hysterical. One of the few RPGs that actually sucedes in putting the characters to life without being so annoying that you wish they would just shut up (anyone remember Yuna?)

Last, but not least, non-linear game play. It occurred to me the other day that this was really one of the reasons I fell in love with RPG games (the OCD aspect is for another post). I can play the game and do the story, but I also can go out of sequence and explore areas that the story hasn’t taken me yet. I can enjoy the naughty feeling of venturing to a far away castle that I’m not supposed to be at. I can level up on tough baddies and buy weapons that are way stronger than they should be. It’s just more fun this way. Way to many RPGs today force you through the game in a completely linear track.

So there you have it, this game is great. Well, only if you’re the type of person that can appreciate the reasons that I’ve laid out. Interestingly enough, this leads right into my next post about why I haven’t play Kingdom Hearts 2 yet…

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